answer: playlist

I was in the worst of funks today. Maybe it was the "mean reds." Maybe it was just me allowing emotion to take over everything. Maybe I can just blame it on hormones. Maybe not.

Saule suggested that I do what he does in a funk--physical exercise. I laughed. Ha ha ha. I tried to find my peace in movies, books, food. Nothing. No good. And then inspiration. I summoned (okay, begged) LaLa from the basement and we began our playlist for the first time in months.

"Someone Like You"
I peer through windows, watch life go by, dream of tomorrow, and wonder why the past is holding me, keeping life at bay. I wander lost in yesterday, wanting to fly, but scared to try.

"Only Hope"
There's a song that's inside of my soul. It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again. I'm awake in the infinite cold, but you sing to me over and over again.

"Written in the Stars"
Is it written in the stars? Are we paying for some crime? Is it all that we are good for, just a stretch of mortal time? Or some God's experiment, in which we have no say? In which we're given paradise, but only for a day.

"Easy as Life"
All I have to do is forget I ever knew him. All I have to do is put my longing to one side. Tell myself that love's an ever changing situation. Passion would have cooled and all the magic would have died. It's easy, its' easy.

"I Know the Truth"
This should have been my time, it's over, it never began. I closed my eyes to so much for so long and I no longer can. I tried to blame it on fortune, some kind of shift in a star. But I know the truth and it haunts me; it's flown just a little too far.

I haven't sung like that in a long time and it was the release I needed. Every pent up thought escaped in the music; every pent up emotion was redirected.

So sing. Sing a song.