Saturday, November 19, 2005

Well it's been a long, been a long, been a long, been a long day.

Act I: When it rains, it pours.

My sister's bridal shower. Bridal showers are a matter of routine in my family, at least on my dad's side. Aunt Kathy prepares a quilt, schedules her church building, and tells everyone to bring a salad or a dessert. Jell-O in some form is a given, along with rolls and lunch meat. It hurts Grandma's feelings if we don't come and there's always the possibility that someday it will be your turn and you'll want people to come to your shower, so aunts and cousins all show up to tie the quilt and eat food--the aforementioned Jell-O and sandwiches, but also the heavy-on-the-mayo salads, the veggie tray, and the chips and salsa. Today I threw them all for a loop with a baguette and ciabatta left over from last night's GSA dinner. At one point my size -4 cousin (she's fourteen-ish) had a piece of bread in each hand as she and her -8 sister circled the food table.

Another loop was thrown when both sides of the family were invited--my dad's and my mom's. This is the sort of situation we try to avoid. I never know who to talk to, who I need to be paying attention to; it's a rather peculiar balancing act: joke around with Lisa and then commiserate with Emily (who's turning 24 and is still single) and then have a nice chat with Megan and Meghan (different sides of the family) about their husbands and Megan's daughter.

The family decided to throw their own loop in my direction via two well-meaning comments. The first came from the thrice-divorced aunt, my mother's sister, who is known as eg's favorite aunt on that side--I'm not quite sure if that's true. She mentioned to me that she finally decided to try online dating, is enjoying herself, and maybe I should give it a try. I thought it was a joke at first--this is the side with the sense of humor, after all--but she was completely serious. I listened to her talk about her site of choice, ldspromise, and then excused myself to the quilt-tying where I thought I would be safe. At the quilt I found another aunt, this one my dad's oldest sister. She has had a hard life, due in part to a decision she made when she was young--to get married. She leaned over to me and said, "If you need to talk, I'm here. I understand what it's like to have your younger sister get married first." I knew she was sincere and I thanked her. When the sister just younger than her got married, this aunt felt that she needed to marry and did marry the next guy who came around, who was a less than ideal match. I've been told this story by my dad, my grandfather, and my dad again, but I wasn't expecting Aunt to tell it to me. We actually had a nice little talk as we tied the bride's quilt.

Act II: How to suck--I mean, succeed.

My brother is finishing a stint in his high school musical, How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying. I have never hated a musical more. I love theatre. I usually adore musicals, but this one is flat out dreadful. And tonight was the second time I saw it. The "leads" were double cast and this was a new cast for me. I found myself getting annoyed with the people I knew were the other leads who still felt the need to spaz out on stage. You get the spotlight next time, people. Chill.

This time I knew where to look to see Brother, so it was a little more entertaining. The high point of the evening came during "The Brotherhood of Man," which is actually a decent song, but it wasn't the music. Brother had forgotten to do up his collar and tie up his tie, so my dad spent the number trying to subtlely signal to Brother. All this while Brother was stomping and flailing about on stage.

Act III: T-I-R-D, tired.

I just don't know when to stop. Actually, I don't want to stop, because stopping means I have to return to life at home where Mom is doing the dishes, Dad is sleeping in the rocking/glider chair, and Sister and Fiance are out on the couch being in love. No thank you to all scenarios. I think I'll go to bed. Good night.


Anonymous said...

Hilarious blog entry.

Anonymous here. Again, crazy freaky Utah. You are way too young to try a dating service. Just my opinion. Funny story though.


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