Wednesday, May 24, 2006

"Against My Will" feat. Lady Jane

So after the momentary lapse in focus, we're back. Hormones, people. And there's not enough chocolate in the world this month. Trust me. I've looked.

What does this mean? It means we're talking about men. Because Lady Jane is a more mature and thoughtful person that myself, we're going to talk. . . not physical characteristics. His hair shall be (as Melyngoch reminded me) what color it please God, but there are certain other characteristics we can't pass on (as my anonymous readers will remind me).

Rich. Jane and I can't really comment on this. We're English MAs, which means we've resigned ourselves to lives of poverty. To be quite honest, I don't care what he does as long as he loves it. I don't want to wind up listening to complaints about accounting or business.

Jane: "If he wants dough in this relationship, it's BYOM: bring your own money."

Wise. Hi. Professors. Academics. Intellectuals. And for me, I'm going to add artist (I personally think lit crit is an art, but I'll let Jane speak for herself.) It has become a problem that the gents in Provo who are around my age are My Students. Good grief, hell, and good night. Yet another reason why I must leave this town.

Jane: "This is what I think. I think that the most important thing in a marriage is that you feel the same philosophically. Does that make sense? So that way you can raise children together. There's a quote that says every child needs an exemplary father and a wise mother. So that means I need to be the wise one. And that's a problem."

Virtuous. Um, I'll let you fill in this blank.

Jane: "We were talking about this in Shakespeare actually. Chastity does not mean celibacy. So as long as we keep inside the marriage, I'm okay."

Fair. Oh wait--we already talked about this. But let me repeat: scruffy.

Jane: "I actually like my guys darker, but I'm not picky. Actually, the guy I have a crush on is like albino, so. . . " (insert brief cat fight between Jane and Virgina)

Mild. Hell no. Easy, fine. Pleasant, of course. But give me a guy with a quick wit who doesn't treat me and my intellect with kid gloves. I'm not fragile. And he shouldn't be either. (I'm realizing now that Benedick is talking about a woman and I'm talking about a man and gender stereotypes do apply.)

Jane: "Or come not near me."

Good discourse. I'm going to be honest here. I like a fight. A fight and a debate and intense times twelve. It makes me feel alive. And I like good banter. There is a certain young man starting the MA this fall who fills this role nicely. Please let him be single and up for a year of playing the peanut gallery.

Jane: "I think you have to. . . " (here Jane trails off in thought)

Jane redeems herself: "I think you have to be with someone who you want to talk to 24 hours a day."

Excellent musician. See Johnny Depp/Roux in "What Makes Him Attractive"

Jane: "Guitars are sexy."

Maybe we digressed a bit, but hey--if it makes me happy.


ambrosia ananas said...

I have no men to offer you. But I can offer you chocolate cake a la Costco. I can, and do, in fact, beg you to eat it. Please, please, please?

JB said...

You should take her up on that one. It's a HUGE cake... and really chocolatey (and therefore really good).

Saule Cogneur said...

A Guitar!!? You've got to be kidding. There are two types of dudes who are big on the guitar. The kind who are cool never seen because they are arTists, and those who are talentless Chris Carrabba wannabes. DO you really want a man who models his form expression after a guy who sings about wishing girls would call him?

Aislin said...

I think that an appreciation of music is more important than actual instrumental skill. I have known skilled guitarists who had terrible musical taste. One who is non-gifted with a instrument can still love music with brilliance and joy and sincerity.


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