Sunday, January 15, 2006

Threatening your (my) reality

I was reading through old blue-beta threads this week. I do that when I want to create a new thread, so that I don't drag up a topic that has been done to death. In November, Katya created a thread simply titled "reality." The idea was to list what your current/future significant other has/will have to put up with from you. I made my list almost immediately. Then Tolkien Boy created a complementary thread--"optimistic reality," listing what you would bring to the relationship. That list wasn't so easy to create; in fact, I never posted it. But (thank heavens) perceptions change and so do lists. I'm going to continue on this thought, but first, my reality list and my optimistic reality list.

1. My alarm goes off multiple times in the morning--the norm is about two hours.
1. I can and will wake up when something is important.

2. I watch movies to unwind or rewind.
2. This means I own a lot of movies. Renting is rarely necessary.

3. I will spend money on 1) books, 2) movies, 3) music, 4) food, and 5) you.
3. Let me rephrase that: I will spend money on you. You and food. You, food, and music. You, food, music, and movies. You, food, music, movies, and books. But you will always come first--and not just when it comes to spending money.

4. I cannot/will not balance a checkbook. Nasty things.
4. I will, however, be aware and respectful of our financial situation.

5. I will not ask you after a movie what you thought. I will, however, tell you what I thought and expect you to jump in.
5. I will go see pretty much any movie, provided your arm is available if it's scary.

6. Same goes for plays/dance concerts.
6. I don't expect you to see every play/dance concert with me.

7. If you don't like movies/plays/dance concerts, you may leave.
7. Um, yeah. What she said.

8. I come with family and family issues.
8. My family is pretty much awesome. If you and I get along, you'll be fine with my family.

9. I will not look like my mother when I get older. I'm sorry.
9. That being said, I'm already attractive and women in my family do age well.

10. I am a mess, but an organized mess. Touch and die.
10. I will respect your messes--or organization--or both.

11. I will occasionally write about past relationships. This is not a reflection on you, it's just good triggering towns.
11. I never stay true to reality in my poetry, so don't worry.

12. I'm going to get a PhD. If this bothers you, you may leave.
12. I don't expect you to get a PhD. This has changed from a year or two ago. For years, I just assumed that I would marry a lawyer. And then it morphed to "professional degree seeking men only." And now all I care is that you are passionate about something, regardless of your degree. Oh, and that you respect my passions and education.

13. I can't count. This may explain number 4.
13. You will always be able to tease me about this, if nothing else.

14. I strongly dislike nicknames. (LadyLondon and editorgirl are exceptions, but unless you were in on those before we became "we," ne touche pas.)
14. I'll never call you "babe" or "sweetheart" either. "Hon" will occasionally happen.

15. There are more. A lot more. In fact, I am going to write a book. Which reminds me--don't bother me when I'm writing. Don't hover, don't think I'm going to pause to acknowledge you. Just let me write, dammit.
15. I swear. And I don't mind if you do. In fact, I'll probably like you all the more.


KapkaVictim said...



Thirdmango said...

So I went through the black list, and 12 of them I had no exception to. That's 80%, pretty good eh.

whoa, my word verifcation is aajon. A mix between me and Melyngoch.


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