Wednesday, March 01, 2006

My mommy would cry.

Today's special: Ethos, Pathos, and Logos. They are appeals and are not exclusive and here are video clips to illustrate.

And now, the writing portion of today. A natural disaster (any natural disaster. I suppose we should specify. Hurricane? Earthquake? Fire? Tsunami. Okay) A tsunami is headed for Provo. We have less than an hour. They've just notified us that our class can send two people to the special barracks under LaVell Edwards Stadium to survive (No, there aren't special barracks under the stadium--at least, not that I know of). Everyone else may or may not live. You have to make an argument, appealing to ethos, pathos, and logos, of why you deserve to live. You are not allowed to give up your space in an act of charity or whatever. You have five minutes to compose your argument. Go.

And (selections from) the arguments:

I'm a girl so I need to be saved so I can "replenish" the earth. [Instructor comment: When you think about it, we only need one man and a bunch of women and we're set.]

My mommy would be very sad if I died.

I do have a girlfriend so I have a good chance of marrying. One of my kids could be the next Gordon B. Hinckley.

The only reason I feel I am legitimate enough to be saved from this fatal disaster is because my favorite flavor is orange.

I don't really want to be saved. I'm not afraid of tsunamis. I'm more afraid of lava. If it was lava I'd want to be saved.

I should get one of the spots because I am a very unique individual. I grew up in Brigham City but refuse to see the movie and how many people you know can say that.

I am fairly attractive so while in the shelter people can enjoy looking at me.

I should be allowed to live because I'm really tired right now. Who wants to die when they're tired? It would be fine if I got some sleep before the tsunami came, but two hours just isn't enough. I must live long enough to get sleep!

I'm tall and tall people should be saved.

I have been through too much in this life to not be saved. When I was 9 yrs old my dog got hit by a car and was killed. When I was 14 yrs old our new dog also got hit by a car and died. Haven't I suffered enough?

I love my mom and she would cry if I died. Do you want to make my mom cry? I sure don't.


erin said...

Ok that is funny.

Edgy said...

Mental note to self: Do not read English 115 student comments while eating or drinking.

Lady Jane said...

That is so funny! I'll have to remember the attractive comment. And the lava comment. And I think there are special barracks under the LaVell Edwards stadium. I have both cleaned them and taken a nap in them.

Melyngoch said...

I'm intrigued that people think their mothers' love is a good excuse for living. Shouldn't the ones who don't have their mother's love be given a little more time to find love somewhere before they're ripped from mortality?

Toasteroven said...

Mel, it's probably supposedly, like, for their mothers' sakes or something.

But yeah, I can um, definitely hear you on that one.

InDialect said...

Fabulous. Though if I were in the emergency shelter, the only one I would like to spend time with is Orange Flavor (based stictly on the above, of course).

Tolkien Boy said...

In related news, I made my mom cry on Saturday.


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