Friday, September 30, 2005

punk rock princess

When I was a freshman, I received a call from my best friend. "Eg, you're either going to love me or hate me--I'm not sure which."

"What did you do?"

"My friend called me asking about girls he could take to Homecoming. I gave him your name and number."

"Do I know this friend?"

"No. But I told him about you. I told him you were a combination of a fairy tale princess and a punk rocker."

"What?" I'm guessing this wasn't just my reaction five years ago, that you, my reader/friend are also thinking that I needed a new best friend. She explained that she was referring to my appearance--at the time, long blonde hair and big blue eyes, etc.--and my attitude, which I still wouldn't call punk rocker.

I've been thinking about this lately. Who I am, how I define myself, how others see me. You discover interesting things if you pay attention. Even more interesting things if you don't pay attention, but that's another blog.

After another brilliant meeting of Fob tonight, I mentioned (via IM) to Tolkien Boy that I feel most like myself when I'm at Fob; I felt the same way last year during april. I've always attributed that to being in a workshop/writing/editing situation, one where I feel I have some control over my own thoughts and actions, and where I know I belong. But TB pointed out that part of it is being among friends. I can rapidly switch between joking and being serious and being sarcastic without having to explain myself or my multiple personalities. I'm comfortable there. More and more this semester I'm finding myself out of my comfort zone, forced into personalities/roles I'm not ready to be/fill. But it's nice to know that some of the time, I can still be a punk rock princess. (Dance party anyone?)


Master Fob said...

I'm glad you enjoy Fob and feel like you can be yourself. I do too. Being myself is one of my favorite things about Fob.

KapkaVictim said...

I could be your garage band king.

So, does this mean you're breaking up with me?

It's okay, I'm certain Fob has created other relationships to falter (cue slide show montage set to "breaking up is hard to do" by the Carpenders with people getting in fights about short stories, a woman grips her pen so hard it explodes and ink gets everywhere while she sobs, a man slaps a woman who's going on about nature imagery)

JB said...

kapkavictim, you're hilarious.

It's funny because (please don't hate me but)I don't totally disagree with that discription of you, editorgirl. You've got this child-like happy thing going on and yet you've got this "don't mess with me" attitude. It's pretty dang cool, but hard to classify, too.

What is this Fob you speak of, anyway? A writing workshop among friends, or a Poetaster's style workshop? Also, is it open or closed admission (meaning, is there a possibility that I could come some time)?

Anonymous said...

what is fob. i still read your blog. charlton heston is angry with you for your stance on gun control. ha, i have now disclosed my identity. great blogs eg.

editorgirl said...

Fob is a (closed) writing group--kind of like april last year.


editorgirl said...

I also don't think I've been described as "childlike" or "happy." Must process.

Special K said...

what the crap is Fob??

KapkaVictim said...

Ilikeapril, too...but yet, here we are.


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