i give up

there will be no capitalization in this post. to capitalize would be to show respect for a very lousy day. i refuse.

i'm not sure why i'm so tired. maybe it's not sleeping for three days. maybe it's the pounds of reading i've done this week (measuring it in pages has become a futile attempt.) maybe it's because i've accepted my fate as a single and singular academic. maybe it's because counseling today consisted of many metaphors, which i felt were unnecessary and unfair. and rather painful. or maybe it is simply because all my roommates have left me and i'm alone in my big house, with my books, my grandfather's car, and the piano.

the story of the day:
i was teaching my class today. . . well, teaching is rather a stretch. i was standing at the front of the room as my brilliant students workshopped each others' papers. hooray. no thinking necessary, except to do some fast thinking when i realized that there was no way the thorough would finish before class was over. i opened the door, glanced at the clock ticking just outside (my room does not have its own clock), and returned to stand just at the doorknob inside the room, leaving the door open. i was beginning to get the class's attention, when a creature swooped through the door, snarling and grabbing at me. i screamed. and then i realized it was my sister, who thought the opening of the door meant class was over. i chased her out of the room, and resumed to give the weekend's homework, but in a rather distracted and scattered manner. so it really was like every other day.