Tuesday, July 29, 2008

talk me out of myself

I can't sleep, can't turn off my head. Which isn't always a problem, but it is tonight because I have to be awake, showered, and out the door at 6 a.m. Hell hell hell.

So far I have tried taking a bath (which woke me up), reading magazines (bad idea), and listening to my iPod (really bad idea). Now there is so much in my head that I'm getting this off-kilter sense where everything has sped up around me except the voice in my head who is monologuing (and the voice isn't that great of a monologuer).

Thought one. The magazines were wedding magazines, of which I confess to owning a small stack. A stack which has increased in size since Sven announced he was engaged (except he didn't announce it--Mom told me to call him, and he told me in a very short conversation because he was at work). I've spent way too much time in these magazines, on wedding blogs, and just hearing about weddings lately. And the Wedding (Sven's, not mine) is on Thursday. This Thursday. Which just leads to another round of profanity.

Thought two. What is my brother doing, getting married? I kind of understood Lauren getting married--it was inevitable, and I like JessE (not a typo--Pixar boy's name is getting a Wall-E update). But Sven was supposed to come home from his mission and focus on school. Not focus on school and attaching himself to some chick. Which she's not just some chick. She's sharp and down-to-earth and cute and I like her. But why couldn't he stay single for a month? Two months? I mean, seriously. Seriously.

Thought three. Confession: During blog posts like this, I skip over to this post from someone I've never met. But it makes me happy and shuts down the pity party for one.

Thought four. You are invited to my pity party.

Thought five. There are a lot of things I'm ready to leave. More things I want to hold onto. But it's time. And realizing that it's time just makes me panic at the thought of not having an opportunity to leave.

Thought six. I cited Wordsworth in my statement. I don't particularly like Wordsworth.

Thought seven. I have to be awake in five hours.

In the immortal words of hmp, "Dammit."


Saule Cogneur said...

Lots of RM's simply don't know any better. Poor guy...

Oh and you never returned my call. For shame!

Meg said...

I love your guts! I felt like I hardly even saw you at the reunion grrrrr.....so expect to spend time with me at the wedding junk! And lunch next week? See you tomorrow. I love your posts. You make me smile - hope you made it to sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

Anna B said...

if i could have physically been at this pity party we would have relocated to a local ihop and then we would have drunk diet coke. would not have helped with the insomnia, but i would have loved it.

Alexis said...

I missed you tonight while watching Project Runway. Could we watch Tim Gunn at the pity party?

mlh said...

Can I bring the chips to the pity party?

Ginsberg said...

So why has nobody made a comment about this Handsome Dan fellow who has an "e-crush" on you? He seems clever, even if his taste in movies and books makes me think he's probably interested in conservative politics. But he did list Fahrenheit 451, so that's helping his case, I guess. Anyhow, this whole bit made me smile. Sorry. No further comment.


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