Deal Breakers, Take 2

So I've been thinking, and here's what I've come up with:

• Talks incessantly during the previews before a movie
• Talks at all during a movie (unless it's an MST3K kind of thing)
• Talks down about poetry, English, etc.
• Listens only to Michael McLean, country, or select Broadway soundtracks
• Lapses on cue into his mission language
• Won't laugh with me when I slip on the ice
• Won't help me up when I slip on the ice

This is a limited sampling. And I'm guessing now that I've confessed that much, I can add

• his hair is longer than mine
• he apparently showers in cologne

Are any of these essay worthy? I'll tell you--I don't know.