Tuesday, February 20, 2007

speech for my thesis chair

Remember how you said this was crunch time? That I hadn't left myself room for writer's block, which I then interpreted as errors? Well, writer's block isn't the problem. I don't think. First I got sick and then depressed--which is just about the lamest excuses I can think of. But I can't say "I spent an entire weekend curled up in my grandfather's armchair watching old cycles of America's Next Top Model on youtube." I mean, I could. And it would be the truth, even if it wasn't this past weekend but three weekends ago. And it even sounds better than "I spent the weekend sleeping," which was last weekend. During the weeks I have an excuse--I'm busy--but what can I do to account for those weekends? How can I explain that I feel so much of my rep riding on this thesis? So much of my future? She wants to read the chapter on her poetry when it's ready. I'm supposedly an excellent writer. But what if I'm not? What if this 80-page paper will prove that I've been faking it? What if I don't deserve any of this? What if I can't pull it off?


Liz Busby said...

Here's my perspective: we're all faking it. Always.

And for what it's worth, I think you're brilliant.

Stop procrastinating and get to work!

Christian said...

I concur with Liz. You're brilliant; I've always thought so. Your writing is such that I actually want to get it.

Oh. If you need an excuse this coming weekend not to work on your thesis, though, you can come up to Salt Lake and watch the Oscars with us. I would love to see you.

ambrosia ananas said...

You can, and it will be great. And when you're done or when you need a break, call me, and we'll have chocolate. (Thanks again for the fondue. So good.)

Anonymous said...

No, no, and no. You're the real deal, editorgirl. Remember, let it suck.

Anonymous said...


Oh yeah?

Well what if I'm a sandwich?

Tolkien Boy said...

Do you mind if I take your speech (verbatim, sans the youtube business) and deliver it to my grad school director re: why I don't yet have my essay which (somehow) demonstrates what a wonderful teacher I am so they'll give me the appointment for next year?


Anonymous said...

you are brilliant. it's true. and feel free to send that over to my chair if you have a moment. you cal leave the youtube part in.

Bassercussionist said...

You can do it. I know you can. With a mind such as yours, you can do anything in the world. Anything!


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