Thursday, February 24, 2011

and another thing

I've been told it's normal to want to punch someone/thing when you're waiting to hear back on grad apps. At least, this is what Sven and I decided today in a burst of sibling affection (laced with violence).

It has been a month since I decided I could write anything here. There were several reasons, the biggest one being that my life was consumed with a surprise birthday party (which became parties) for a long-time reader (Hi Mom!), so I couldn't write about it here. And if I wasn't writing about cakes and invitations and fabric flowers, what was I going to write about?

Maybe those darn grad school apps. At this point, I just want to know. Even if it's bad news (especially if it's bad news). I want to move forward. I feel like I'm stuck in jail during a particularly tedious game of Monopoly and I can't roll the right combination of the dice. Eventually I'm going to have to pay my fine. . . oh wait. I already did that.

When I'm being completely honest with myself (which I rarely am), I just want to move back to Utah. I miss being close to family, and there are things I feel I should be in Utah for. I want to be there when Seth gets home. I want be around for Maryn's high school events. And I want to be in SLC so that I can nephew-sit. Because Sam is only the coolest kid ever.

But I can't justify hauling my life back to Utah without a job or grad school or something. I know my family would support me, but when do I get to start being an adult? Every once in a while, I get the faint whiff of adulthood, but then I walk back into my glorified-dorm-room of an apartment, or I listen to my friends talk about buying houses and raising children, or I eat another bowl of Cheerios for dinner (or better yet, half a box of Eggos because they're there), and I just can't handle it.


In other news, the most perfect staging of "As You Like It" ever. If I have to live in a world, can I live in that one? With poems hanging from trees and a man who realizes it's better to play the fool than be wise?


Kjerstin Evans Ballard said...

EG: You+me+a cute house in SLC+chickens. Think about it. :)

Lekili said... are living a very adult life in Chicago. The majority of people would feel quite accomplished and pleased with themselves for finishing 3 degrees and working a full time demanding job that pays a decent salary and fabulous benefits at a revered University.

Because you're not satisfied to be satisfied with where you are now doesn't detract from where you are now.

And we can't wait for you to return to Utah. As an adult.

Maryn said...

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I have no high school events. They are non-existent. I'M SORRY. But you can come back to Utah just because you love me. That's a pretty good reason, don't you think? :)


Lauren said...

Ah, I've missed your voice. It really has been a bit. See you in Utah, yeah?

Th. said...


I've had entirely bad news so far with five to go....


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