Monday, December 12, 2005

guilt trip

The. Paper. Still. Is. Not. Done. That being said, I'm not too worried. I know what comes next and I finally figured out why I was having such a hard time writing. I can only write (academically) in two situations: complete silence or louder-than-most-people-can-stand music. One of my best papers during my undergrad was written with Matchbox 20 blaring. It drove my roommates brilliant. Last year the solution was headphones (okay, earbuds, but that just sounds silly to me). I'm continuing the tradition with this paper and it's working. Thus far.

All that being said, I'm still having a hard time focusing. Despite a good friend figuring out sadness, I'm sad. I'm missing someone and I'm not sure I'm allowed to miss them. So then I miss them and feel guilty about it.

I'm tired of being alone. I like being independent though. Can you be independent and not alone?

8 comments:

editorgirl said...

"It drove my roommates brilliant" is a typo. It was supposed to be "crazy," but I'm not changing it. It's just too. . . brilliant.

Master Fob said...

I kind of liked it.

And to answer your question, yes, sort of. It's tricky.

KapkaVictim said...

First: drove brilliant is a good idea because it's like matchbox twenty has an intrinsive make-you-smarter quality which spreads through the air (although I personally find that debatable).

Second: you should try to set the timer. I've just finished up a final here in the computer lab and I'm waiting for another one (yes I know it's cocky to finish early and not just sit there and revise, but I figure either I knew it or I didn't and I wrote everything I wanted to on every subject) Set the music-timer. that's what I do. the background section to amhal and night visitors, the revision to benjamin britten's cermemony of carols... (can you tell it's christmas?)


(and can you tell my spelling and punctuation is taking a break?)

erin said...

You and I are the same...in the respect of being independent and being alone. I think it's possible to be independent and not alone, but I have yet to find it.

Good luck on the paper.

And I very much enjoyed the typo, so I'm glad you didn't change it.

Joe said...

Try Jimmy Buffet. Then it's like you get to finish your paper and go on an early vacation at the same time. I highly recommend the "Coconut Telegraph" album. So cheesy, seemingly forgettable, and yet, genius. It's hard to explain...on second thought, I don't know if Jimmy would mesh with those theory dudes. Now Jimi Hendrix on the other hand, I think you have an A paper and a moment or two of transcendence. I would suggest "First Rays of the Rising Sun."

Th. said...

.

Well, gee whiz. You just totally negated what I was going to comment on.

Tolkien Boy said...

Happy accidents.

I am currently listening to "Bring on the Men," and it's not driving me brilliant. Quite honestly, it's driving me dumb.

FoxyJ said...

I think it's totally possible to be independent and yet not alone. I'll try and explain it sometime. I think the best people to be with are those that encourage your independence, something like that...

 

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