. . . and I'll let you finish the quote. You know it. I quote it enough here. And tonight was going to be one of my many diatribes--and a brilliant one at that. I've been writing it in my head since Wednesday. Something to the effect of my incompatibility with the great outdoors and the fact that I am--gasp!--still single and alone. Despite the truth of that diatribe, I've decided to forgo it. For now. Just be warned that it's coming. Instead. . . well. . . stick around. I'm sure I have something to say.
I've been having very vivid, very intense dreams lately. Not scary so much as, well, terrifying. Terrifying because I can't escape. And because I remember them in the morning.
Last night's was "eg goes to grad school." And yes, I know, I'm in grad school right now. But as much as I love my program and my friends and my professors, I don't feel as though anything has really changed from my undergrad. Maybe it should be "eg goes to a different grad school" or "eg finally gets out of Provo." I'll take your suggestions.
It began with the apprehension that seems to live in the pit of my stomach every time I start looking at programs. Living in a new city, in a new state, with new people, in a new culture. . . trust me to worry about something a year before it happens. But the apprehension started to disappear when I realized that three of my cousins were going to be there, along with Miss K, who in my dream already knew the ropes. And then I met a guy in the program, who told me he knew Tolkien Boy. . . which led to lunch with TB and S-Boogie and Master Fob. And the dream continued until someone informed me that I had made the soccer team and it was time to suit up.
I laughed at the dream when I woke up, relieved that I wouldn't have to play soccer. And then I attempted to forget about it, which I did quite successfully until I arrived (finally) back in Provo and found a packet of admissions info from Houston. And I really want to go. . . somewhere. But all those apprehensions in the dream? They're so real.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Hey. I can empathize with you grad school anxieties. I'm still feeling like maybe I'm not quite PhD material and I'm only at the Univ. of Kansas for crying out loud. But the people here have been mostly pretty great. I've only been to one class thus far, but, honestly, it seems do-able. You, of all people, should be just fine. This doesn't mean you don't have the right to stress out unnesessarily about it, though.
I'm having anxiety about the coming semester. Double the grading!!! And applying to those darn schools! And then having to play soccor when we get there! ACK! I don't think I can handle the stress.
I bought a Khans shirt last night. Best purchase I've ever made.
and I am sunburnt. couldn't resist
The real world is scary, but so what? Dumber, less attractive people have done the transition successfully.
And I can empathize. Yes, I was only gone for four months, but the transition was very real and very solitudinous. Still, people are tough, and last time I checked, you were still a person. :)
Hon, you're brilliant. You'll do great. And one day I'll be buying your poetry at Borders.
"eg gets out of Provo and goes to grad school in Seattle. And has lunch with Tb, Master Fob, and S-Boogie."
Darn, Master Fob. You beat me to the punch.
Personally,I think lunch sounds like a great idea.
Though I hope that I won't be buying your book at Borders...I expect a signed copy...
Post a Comment