Friday, November 18, 2005

editorgirl is missing

From the mixed-up files of November 17, 2005, which will forever be catalogued under The Importance of Being Earnest.

Panic attack today watching Kristine Hansen speak about "What Writing is Worth." Not because of her lecture topic, but because I realized tommorow I will be standing in front of a room full of people and reading my poetry. The poetry I don't let anyone else read, unless it's in workshop. I don't really go about introducing myself as a poet or a writer. I don't introduce myself as anything. I usually just say "Hello. Nice to meet you." And then I expect to be ignored.

SHowe gave me the advice to give people something to watch for in my poetry tomorrow, as it will help them follow the poem better. I had thought of this in regards to three of them, but after that I'm at a bit of a loss. For those of you who know my poetry, here's the line up:

maybe
sum(marry)
Princess
I Study Barnett Newman's Adam
I Study Barnett Newman's Eve
Gender in Classical Mythology
things incommon

Considering this list and deciding what to read has led to a realization re: titles. LLarsen commented about a few of my titles that they were too clever. To which I thought, "Yes, and. . ." and kept the titles. But now, looking at sum(marry), I'm wondering if I should read it as summary or some marry tomorrow. In past readings, everyone had a copy and could see how clever I was. I'm now realizing that cleverness can be a hindrance for the hearer. Which may be another thing to think about--I've never thought about my poetry being for the listener so much as for the reader. Maybe that is why people like "Princess" so much and why I'm always so surprised that they like it.

The real thing I'm nervous about is that my mother is coming. I have two great fears in my life: one is that I'll someday be like my mother. The second is that I'll never be able to be anything like my mother. And I want her approval. . . which is why I haven't shown her anything I've written in the past five years or so. Because if she dislikes it, or disapproves, it might be enough for me to stop working so hard. I was going to say "stop writing," but that wouldn't happen. It would just become more a side project than it already is--and that prospect terrifies me.

4 comments:

Master Fob said...

You could put your poems on an overhead.

KapkaVictim said...

I think you should juggle while reciting your poetry.

erin said...

I would like to read them, but I can't come to the reading today. So, I want a rain check, maybe at Inscape if I ever show up. :) (I swear I will be coming more in January though. I have to put all my ideas on a layout program some time.)

Phunny Phanny said...

You may find that your poetry reaches an entirely different audience by ear.

If necessary, couldn't a quick intro such as "This poem is entitled sum(marry) or some marry tommorrow"??

An Overhead may be helpful, but that would take away from the point of a reading -- the author, and what goes into her poetry. Don't let the audience cop out of feeling your words by being able to lazily look at the overhead.

The clever ones will figure it out -- enjoying your wit and style all the more.

and by the way -- I am not your mother.

 

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