confession and announcement

My birthday isn't until next week. My family is just awesome and impatient. But thank you for all the (early) wishes. I needed them.

And why I needed them: I didn't get in. Anywhere. I've been processing this for a few weeks now, and I should have told you (collective and individual) sooner, but I thought I'd have good news to offset the bad. And then I found out that I didn't get that job either.

So. I'm not sure what comes next. I'm open to suggestions. There's part of me that is relieved, that is thinking after a decade of college it's time for a break. And then there's the part of me telling that part to shut the hell up. And then the third part--maybe the best part--is angry and annoyed and is throwing as many poems at as many journals as I can to prove those PhD admission people very very wrong.

I'm telling you this today because I am on vacation. And I'm with my best friend, which means I can handle telling the rest of the world that somehow I'm back to not knowing what I'm doing after June 17. I know I have options, I'm just not sure what to do with those options. I'm not sure what I want to do with those options. But feel free to stayed tuned.